I did not sleep nor even get near the bed last night and so I am obviously up to all sorts of CRAAAAAAAAAAAAZY SHENANIGANS. I could show you what I mean if I had a goat, six bananas and a local TV weatherman, but that would only scratch the surface of what I’m getting at.

In other words OH GOD I AM FREAKING TIRED and it’s not even four o’clock, so I’m drinking lots of coffee and wondering why we say stuff like ‘I got hit in the face’ when we obviously mean ‘I got hit ON the face’, and other such mysterious things. Like why is Sailor Moon the leader of the Sailor scouts? The moon’s not even a planet. Shouldn’t there be a Sailor Sun? Do all the moons in the solar system get Sailors? Does Sailor Pluto count anymore since Pluto is OMG no longer a planet according to some people who thought it would be cool to randomly make that decision? Why do I have all these questions when I only ever saw the damned program like one time, and this when I was an infinitely smaller version of me? What would tiny!me think of grown!me? Could grown!me entertain tiny!me by dangling keys in her face? Would that scare the shit out of tiny!me? Is it just me or are kids getting tinier and tinier lately? Haven’t they all got cell phones now or something? Or is there some other newfangled contraption they’re into these days? How am I supposed to know what the hell the kids are into these days, other than getting on my lawn? WHY ARE THE BASTARDS ALWAYS ON MY LAWN?

Oh dear God, do you people realize that this post was originally intended for the ‘What are you doing right now’ thread in the forums? I moved it here at the last moment because I am zany like that, and that is why bitches flock to me in fawning hordes and I have to beat them off with umbrellas or some such thing.